I am Who I am, it is What it is, and I Love Me

Wow the last two week has been full of lows and highs. I will start with the low and move to the highs.

The Friday before spring break I found out that I would not have a position in my current school district.  After 12 years of service I have been released due to a "Reduction in Forces".  You may think that this is impossible, but it is not.  Under the new current evaluation system; that is forced on school districts by the state, you are let go based on the best 2 of you last 3 evaluations.  Also, under the new evaluation system you can get a 1 - 4 as a rating.  A 4 is the best.  We were all told that you had to be a "Michael Phelps" (gold medal winner) in order to get a 4 under the new system.  When I had my evaluation in 2011/12, it was under the old system and I had a satisfactory which is considered a 3 under the new system.  As a tenured teacher you are only suppose to get an evaluation every two years.  Well, I had an argument with my evaluator just before my final evaluation (which is suppose to be objective...yeah right, and she decided that I would need another evaluation the following year under the new evaluation system.

To make a long story short, I am a good teacher!  I love teaching and I spend hours planning, grading, and communicating to help my students become educated young adults.  However, I do not put myself on a pedestal and I don't consider myself a "Michael Phelps" so I thought that a 3 was a great evaluation.  However, because I had to be evaluated again and not on my regular 2 year cycle I had 2 ratings of 3 and one under the old as excellent or a 4.  All other tenured teachers had 1 rating of a 3 and two of excellent.  This put me on the category 3 list and I was let go.  In addition, the administration in our building took the rating system seriously and did not give many 4's, but other admins in other buildings didn't take it as seriously.


Needless to say, I am beating myself up left and right over this situation.  I keep thinking that people are happy I am gone.  I saw a PTO person in the school library and she didn't even say hi to me.  I feel like the red headed step child of the district.  I know I am the first one on the call back list, but if they call me back do I want to work there?  I would love to tell them to shove it, but I love teaching and I love my students.  If I get the call and I don't have another job, yes, I will go back.  However, I will  continue to look for a place that appreciates me. 

The saddest part of the entire situation is that I felt as if I deserved to get canned.  I have such a poor self concept that I think I actually deserved it.  Then I look at who is still there and I think...yeah, I am not perfect and I have many faults, but I am NOT a bad teacher.  There are many more that are though.  The new evaluation system, that is suppose to get rid of bad teachers, it is not working!  It is still subjective and if you are liked, you are in, whether you can teach or not.  If you are not liked (or overly opinionated) you are out even if you are great. As everyone knows, that knows me at all, I can't keep my mouth shut when I think things are unfair or unjust, or if I feel it is wrong.  I don't intend on being the quiet mouse either.

Now for the good!  Fred and I took a trip to Phoenix last week.  It was so beautiful!  I would move there in a heart beat if I could.  Seeing Adam, Nadia, Cera, and Nora was so much fun.  It was especially nice to get to know Nadia.  She is a bright, beautiful, young woman.  She has experienced much in her life and has taken those experiences to become who she is today.  She is a wonderful mother and wife.  I am so glad that Adam was able to find his soul mate.  They are truly perfect for each other.  I am grateful and honored that they think of us as family. I am auntie and Fred is papa to Cera, I am mama to Nadia, and I am ma to Adam. 

Being there with them after the news of my job was perfect.  I realized that no matter what others think of me, or how they have judged me, I know that I have touched many lives and in some way made them better.  I have helped many young people find their potential.  This makes me one proud Mother and Grandmother with at least 4 sons, 4 daughters, 3 grandsons and 1 on the way, 4 granddaughters. 

In Phoenix I was able to do so many things that I wouldn't have been able to do if I hadn't lost weight.  I was able to go on a hike up Superstition Mountain, I couldn't make it to the top, but I went most of the way...before I wouldn't even have tried.  I was able to get on a horse and ride it for 3 hours!  It felt amazing!  I had energy that I can't remember ever having.  It was an exciting time and I was glad I was able to be there with the love of my life Fred!  He is the most supportive, loving man in the world.  I am grateful that he has supported me all the way through this journey of weight loss.


In a few weeks I will be going on a journey to Omaha, Nebraska to experience the birth of my next grandson and spend time with my granddaughter.  I am again so grateful that my son and his wife want me to be there at this special time.  This is what life is all about, not impressing those who don't know you, but to be there for those who do love you and appreciate you.  I miss them not being close, but I am so proud of them to take this step and move away.  It was a difficult decision and they are doing what is best for their family.  I am glad that it is only 7 hours away and not farther! 

I am lucky that I get to see Sara and Barrett a few times a week. I wish I could see Bryan more, but he is working hard for his family.  I am so lucky to have a loving relationship with my daughter and we like to spend time together.  We don't always have to talk, we can just be together and it is good.  We can laugh together and she gets me and I get her.  We just fit.  It is great!

I am also lucky that I can spend time with my son Jason and his family.  He has grown into such a wonderful man and he has such a beautiful family.  Again, I am glad that we have such a great relationship.  When we get together we laugh!  He is so funny and I love when he makes me laugh.  I feel like I am me when he is around, I am not sure what that means, but that is how I feel. 

All in all, I know that people who do not know me well, they judge me, they may even think I am not a good teacher, they may think I deserve to lose my job, but I know better.  I know that I had a child at 19, I have had many trials through my life.  I am not perfect, I am far from it, but every night when I go to bed, I think...I am who I am, it is what it is, and I love me, I love my family, I love my true friends, and I love my life!  I know that I have family and friends that love me back for a reason...because I am a good person.  Can all of parents, teachers and administrators that judge me say the same thing?  Maybe they are just jealous;)

ugh

So here it is March 2014...what can I say? If I had a couple thousand followers I could ask all of you to send me a few dollars to help pay for plastic surgery, but yeah, that won't work😉 I keep losing and the skin hanging gets worse. I am not complaining because I feel amazing, but I don't know which is worse looking... being fat or hanging skin. At least when I am dressed I look marvelous😎

It is never easy

Well here it is middle of January.  I had my fill on Tuesday of last week.  For  you newbies, a fill is when the put saline in the band to make it a little tighter.  This makes me eat less and feel fuller longer.  Anyway, the first few days after the fill was fine, but the last few days it has been bad.  Took some antacid this morning and it seems to be helping.  All I can say is there is NO easy way to lose weight.  What it feels like is pressure, like you are going to throw up constantly.  I hope it is better this afternoon to have lunch with some of my amazing friends!

I have not exercised this week, mostly because I have not been able to eat and drink water, but mostly out of lack of motivation.  I will get back on track this week.  My goal this week will be to go at least four times.  I REALLY hate exercising!  Anyone have ideas on how to make it more fun?  I have tried music, TV, reading, and just thinking...ideas would be greatly appreciated!!!!!

The good news is that I have lost 5 pounds this week...bad news is this is not a good way to do it! 

I am a huge fan of General Hospital...Alexis from the show is having a girls weekend in Las Vegas and you can have dinner with her or breakfast...I think it would be so fun, but lack of funding keeps me from doing it...oh well.

Stick with your goals and see you soon! 

Learning is not just for students anymore

I have taken advantage of the extra days for winter break and purchased a few (4) common core books.  I feel the need to explore the subject and learn on my own what this is all about.  I have learned most of what I know through our curriculum director and his associate who shall remain unnamed but she works for the ROE - or that is what I was led to believe.  What have I learned in the 110 pages I have read...

1) CCSS are not as bad as I believed.  They do have a purpose and make sense if you read about them from experts.
2) CCSS is not a curriculum and should be used to help the district create a curriculum not just an assessment.
3) There are many teachers that have no idea how to read the standards and are teaching what they believe the standards are, but not what the students actually need. 
4)  What our district needs to do is to create a curriculum that focuses on common core in all content areas, not just reading and language classes.
5) We are teaching to an assessment that has no merit (the district assessment).
3) PLC time should be used to create a curriculum that meets the needs of the CCSS so that we are all teaching the same ideas and concepts.  I find that each 7th grade teacher just goes off and teaches what they want and we are not all teaching the same ideas.  I am sure it is the same for all grade levels.  We need to have common formative (classroom observations and daily assessments)  and summative assessments (end of unit, end of learning) so that we can compare all students in a grade level and not just by teams. Not just on test at the end of midterm.
4) We need NEW resources to help us implement the CCSS such as is indicated in the Appendices of the CCSS
5) Take PLC and team time to explore resources to help us become more uniformed in our teaching.
6) Although the CCSS does not talk about teaching the comprehension strategies after 5th grade, it is necessary to teach these in order for a student to be able to "read closely".
7) When students graduate high school the chances of them having to understand fiction at a job or in college is less likely than having to understand how to read non-fiction text, evaluate the text, determine if it is credible or not credible, and how to use the text to guide their understanding of their job or their research.
8) Many more new things!

How has this affected me and my teaching?  I really wish there were a time machine to take me back to the beginning of the year and re-teach everything.  I will be spending the remainder of this day planning a new unit that I will start next week.  I learned that although I can't go back in time, I certainly can fix it for the remainder of the year.  I am excited about learning more about the CCSS and how to implement them correctly in my classroom.  I wish the district would have had us read and learn more about the CCSS before we started creating the new district assessments. 

How does this relate to my weight loss?  Learning is the key to any successful journey.  My dendrites and synopses are on overload and exercise is the only way to calm them down:)  I will be taking my tablet to the gym and while I am on the treadmill or exercise bike I will re-read the 110 pages and start annotating on how to implement these ideas into my classroom...can't wait for the new me mentally and physically:)

New Beginnings

Well it has been almost three years now and I have 1 been stuck at 185-190 now for almost 8 months.  I am not happy that I can't loose these last 30 pounds...so here is my plan:

1) Join a gym - Done today
2) Go to gym at least 5 times a week.  3 days of cardio and 2 of strength - Cardio done today - bike for 30 minutes at maximum heart rate for 25 minutes. Swim for 20 minutes doing laps
3) Walk more at work
4) Get a fill asap
5) Alcohol only once a week
6) Drink 24 ounces of water a day (at least)
7) Bring a healthy lunch to work daily
8) Back on track with my protein
9) Plan and Cook meals at home no more eating out
10) Update my Blog at least once a week

On the upside I love the new improved me.  I love the freedom I have to move around.  It is those little things that I can do that amaze me the most...sitting on the floor and getting up...running upstairs, playing with the grandkids...

 

 

Anyway, I am back and going strong.  Please help support me by asking me daily - how are your work outs going?  What did you make for dinner last night? Are you getting in all your water? 
What did you make for lunch today.  Love you all!  I couldn't be where I am today without all of your support!!!!