Ouch

So here it is Tuesday!  One week since I had my surgery.  Well, lets just say that I did way too much over the weekend!  I was in soooo much pain on Sunday night I thought I was going to have to go to the ER.  However, I made it through the night.  A lot of tossing and turning though.  I was really sore yesterday and my stomach has bruises all over it.  The largest of the incisions is bleeding a little.  I know it is my own fault...but it was worth all the fun I had over the weekend.  I am still really sore and tired today, but I was able to eat a  full breakfast of a carnation instant breakfast and a yogurt.   I have my doctors appointment tomorrow, but I am not going to push going back to work if they say no.  I have learned my limits!  I am going dress shopping with Sara and my mom tomorrow.  I am planning on sitting back and taking it easy the entire time, I can't wait to see my gorgeous daughter in wedding gowns!  I have been waiting for this day since the day she was born.  Yes, I am going to be selfish and think about me for awhile...whether anyone cares or not!

So lets talk about the good news!  I am down to 258!  I know that is still heavy, but I have lost 6 pounds since surgery and I am not feeling hungry! Yesterday was the first day that I really wanted to eat something bad for me!  However, at this point I am still on a full liquid diet and after the weekend...I will not chance that pain again!  Although I did not really cheat on my diet, at the roller derby they had nothing I could eat except ice cream.  I had some ice cream with a packet of protein added to it...it tasted really good, but did not agree with me!  or I ate too much, too fast, not sure...but two days of pain!  Never will happen again.

I was watching an old video last night of our family in Honduras...it was eye opening!  I was really heavy in that video, but I only weighed 190 at that time!  I can't believe I let myself get this out of control with my weight.  All I can say to those of you who are suffering like I was with the inability to lose weight, this may be for you!  It has made a world of difference in my life in the short amount of time I have had it done. 

I get my first "fill" tomorrow!  At this point my stomach is only restricted by the band itself and the swelling.  Tomorrow they add saline to the band to tighten the area between my little stomach (my nickname for my little stomach is Bitty) and the rest of the stomach.  It will make the food stay in Bitty a longer and thus feel full longer!  I am hoping to lose about 2 pounds a week.  When I start working out in 5 weeks I am hoping for more like 3-5 pounds a week. There will be peeks and plateaus, but at least I can't get depressed and eat everything in sight for days at a time!  I will get depressed and when I do, I know that I can count on my friends and family to slap me back into reality! 

What have I accomplished over the last week...I have been taking my vitamins everyday!  I have stayed on my diet and started eating breakfast everyday! I had a few days of depression last week, and cried a lot on Thursday and Friday.  Then I realized I was being stupid and picked myself up and pulled myself together!  Thank you to all my friends and family for pointing out I had a right to be angry, but I was also being childish!  Hit your problems head on and deal with them.  Once I did that it was done and I felt better. I am on my way to a healthier new me...mentally and physically:)