Sorry for my little rant yesterday. This is much more difficult then I thought it would me. I need to find something to do, other then watching TV all day! Fred has been very supportive through this whole journey. He is just busy with his own life and I want it to be all about me, and I know it can't be all about me...life goes on!
And as life goes on...so now all the things are happening that I knew would happen. Just not sure I am ready. I need to get out of the house and join the world. How do I do that? I am still in pain, although I think it is more of a crutch then actual pain, I am not going to take the pain meds today! I am using them and the pain as a crutch to stay on the couch and pout. Anyway, it is not really pain, it is hard to explain, it is like a really full empty feeling.Will I feel like this the rest of my life? Really full, yet still hungry...wanting something, but not sure what it is...
It is time to get back to the living...so now I want to get out of the house. Great! Now where do I go? I don't want to just go and sit somewhere and visit someone. I want to do something, I just don't want to be around food...I can't exercise yet...Maybe a movie...although the popcorn will be hard to resist. Do you realize that everything we do has something to do with food? I was hoping that I would have lost enough weight by now to have to go shopping for some new clothes (which would be fun), but no such luck...think I will take one more day of resting and then make Fred take me out tonight or tomorrow!
Thanks for being there my friends:) You are all so wonderful to stick this out with me!
Hang in there! It will get easier as time goes by and you are not in pain and are able to get out in the world again. You have a wonderful support system, so lean on them, use them but don't abuse them, LOL.
ReplyDeleteI think it's gonna take a while to not associate every activity w/food. Whether you find a replacement (like an iphone!) or it just fades away, it's been a big part of life, and you probably are missing the good comforting feeling you got from food. So that will eventually work itself out. Do you like to read? Do puzzles with paper and pencil? Knit? Something to keep your eyes and hands busy and pass the time. Somewhere NOT in your house would be good too. It'll happen.
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