I am in doubt! I don't think that I can do this...not that I have a choice, but my body just doesn't want to take off this weight...according to the scale this morning (weigh in Wednesday) I have gained back two pounds! Yes, I got off and on that scale about 8 times before I believed it. I swear I could gain weight by sniffing food! With all my running around and golf, I thought for sure at least one pound would be gone...but nooooooo. I can't eat that much or I throw up, I am not "grazing" (eating all time), and I have more energy than ever...so why did I gain weight. Maybe I am PMS'ing...we will see next Wednesday. Goal for this week...be more active at work and at home, get my protein in everyday, and stay away from alcohol!
I do love the new littler me:) I just want more:)
Myself
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday Weigh-in
So I am weighing in on Wednesdays as the doctor asked me to keep a weekly journal. I am so excited...I have lost 2 pounds this week. It amazes me that I am actually losing weight, I am not hungry, and I don't have to fight the lose one pound gain 2, lose 5 pounds gain 10...it just keeps coming off! What a great feeling. I feel like I am the incredible shrinking woman.
Well lets see, what has happened to me in the last week...I have thrown up three times! It is the weirdest thing. Since I am being honest and not holding back, skip to the next paragraph if talking about throwing up makes you sick! What happens is, I get this horrible feeling in my chest, it feels like a heart attack, I then the mucus in my through starts to bubble, and then it just just comes up. When it happens, there is very little food, but a lot of bubbles and mucus! It is the weirdest thing ever, but once it is over, I feel great! Although I can't eat anymore for a while. It is just something I guess I will have to live with. It mainly happens with really dry food, or greasy food.
I am gaining more energy everyday and I am getting so proud of myself. I love that I can still eat mostly anything I want, just in really small amounts. I don't miss chips and dip, and I don't miss second helpings. I think I am almost to the point of being able to this without even thinking about it. It is almost to the point that I can wake up and not think about everything I am eating, I just do it! This is an amazing journey!!!!
On another note...I HATE FULL MOONS!!!! Students act crazy and parents are crazy! Love all of you and thanks for reading!
Well lets see, what has happened to me in the last week...I have thrown up three times! It is the weirdest thing. Since I am being honest and not holding back, skip to the next paragraph if talking about throwing up makes you sick! What happens is, I get this horrible feeling in my chest, it feels like a heart attack, I then the mucus in my through starts to bubble, and then it just just comes up. When it happens, there is very little food, but a lot of bubbles and mucus! It is the weirdest thing ever, but once it is over, I feel great! Although I can't eat anymore for a while. It is just something I guess I will have to live with. It mainly happens with really dry food, or greasy food.
I am gaining more energy everyday and I am getting so proud of myself. I love that I can still eat mostly anything I want, just in really small amounts. I don't miss chips and dip, and I don't miss second helpings. I think I am almost to the point of being able to this without even thinking about it. It is almost to the point that I can wake up and not think about everything I am eating, I just do it! This is an amazing journey!!!!
On another note...I HATE FULL MOONS!!!! Students act crazy and parents are crazy! Love all of you and thanks for reading!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Not Since I can remember!
The weigh in! I have officially lost 45 pounds! 240!!!!! I was 246 in August of 2003, that is the lowest weight I remember being. I know when I went to Honduras in 1990 I was in Jenny Craig and 199. Then I just kept going up and up and up! This is the first time I am going down, down down!
Dr. Heydari is the most amazing doctor! He knows just what to say to make you feel like a 100 bucks! I was upset when I walked in about the lack of progress and he set me straight. He said that 12 pounds in one month is amazing. He hoped for 10 pounds. He said that the lapband is a slower process and that 8 pounds a month is an average weight loss, so I am doing really well...which makes me feel better. I know that I can do that and more with the nice weather coming.
So to celebrate me I went and bought some new clothes...again! I used to hate shopping, but now I love it!!! I love the pants I bought and they fit perfect! One more size down a and I can shop the Juniors section again...I can't wait!!!!
Yes, the fill hurt, but it is well worth it. I had about 1/4 of an egg white flat bread from DD and I am still full. I am so glad that I have learned to eat healthy and yet I can still eat out and feel like I am not really on a diet. I am getting closer to the day that I can wake up and it is just a normal life. It is hard with Fred around though, he still likes his beer and food and I always want to keep up with him, but I am learning that I cannot even come close to keeping up with him! It is a man thing:)
Goal for the week...make people smile, thank everyone personally for putting up with my moods and supporting me, apologize to my teammate I was mean too...not the one I hate! I wasn't sure if my moods were done, or if it was just a lull, so I didn't want to apologize and then do it again. I am pretty sure that I am back to myself and the worst is over. I need to apologize now and then pray I don't lash out again!
Dr. Heydari is the most amazing doctor! He knows just what to say to make you feel like a 100 bucks! I was upset when I walked in about the lack of progress and he set me straight. He said that 12 pounds in one month is amazing. He hoped for 10 pounds. He said that the lapband is a slower process and that 8 pounds a month is an average weight loss, so I am doing really well...which makes me feel better. I know that I can do that and more with the nice weather coming.
So to celebrate me I went and bought some new clothes...again! I used to hate shopping, but now I love it!!! I love the pants I bought and they fit perfect! One more size down a and I can shop the Juniors section again...I can't wait!!!!
Yes, the fill hurt, but it is well worth it. I had about 1/4 of an egg white flat bread from DD and I am still full. I am so glad that I have learned to eat healthy and yet I can still eat out and feel like I am not really on a diet. I am getting closer to the day that I can wake up and it is just a normal life. It is hard with Fred around though, he still likes his beer and food and I always want to keep up with him, but I am learning that I cannot even come close to keeping up with him! It is a man thing:)
Goal for the week...make people smile, thank everyone personally for putting up with my moods and supporting me, apologize to my teammate I was mean too...not the one I hate! I wasn't sure if my moods were done, or if it was just a lull, so I didn't want to apologize and then do it again. I am pretty sure that I am back to myself and the worst is over. I need to apologize now and then pray I don't lash out again!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Crazy
I am thinking that I am crazy! It is now 12 weeks...I have lost 43 pounds in a little over 3 months. However, I need to do better! The last three weeks I have been at a standstill!!!! I thought by now I would have lost at least 50 pounds. People who didn't have surgery are losing more weight than I am. I HAVE to start working out! I came closer today, I took out my work out clothes. I really don't want to go to the doctor tomorrow, I am not going to enjoy this weigh in...it is all my fault though. No more wine...and start my exercise program. I need to get to the gym 5-6 days a week.
Last week was the worst week ever for a diet! The PTO thinks that to reward us for our hard work they need to feed us crap everyday. One day was dessert day...REALLY???? Every kind of dessert you can think of, I had a chocolate chip cookie and an oatmeal cookie...that was BAD! The next day was hot dog day! I didn't have any...breakfast day was alright, I was able to have a light yogurt,and sub sandwich day I ate the meat and cheese from the sub...but the worst day of all was Friday! Candy day...they fill all these big bowls full of candy and you can take a bag and fill it up with what you like, reeses peanut butter cups, mini candy bars, mikes and ikes, m&m's...you name it they had it!!! I had to walk through that room about 20 times and I finally broke down and had ONE mini peanut butter cup. I would rather get a gift card for 50 dollars and call it a day. No one needs those calories. It is nice, but there are other nice things that everyone could enjoy and leave us people out that need to stay away from unhealthy treats.
Well, I will write more tomorrow after my appointment.
Last week was the worst week ever for a diet! The PTO thinks that to reward us for our hard work they need to feed us crap everyday. One day was dessert day...REALLY???? Every kind of dessert you can think of, I had a chocolate chip cookie and an oatmeal cookie...that was BAD! The next day was hot dog day! I didn't have any...breakfast day was alright, I was able to have a light yogurt,and sub sandwich day I ate the meat and cheese from the sub...but the worst day of all was Friday! Candy day...they fill all these big bowls full of candy and you can take a bag and fill it up with what you like, reeses peanut butter cups, mini candy bars, mikes and ikes, m&m's...you name it they had it!!! I had to walk through that room about 20 times and I finally broke down and had ONE mini peanut butter cup. I would rather get a gift card for 50 dollars and call it a day. No one needs those calories. It is nice, but there are other nice things that everyone could enjoy and leave us people out that need to stay away from unhealthy treats.
Well, I will write more tomorrow after my appointment.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Don't Get me Wrong
After thinking about my post from yesterday I thought, "Oh Shit!" Why? You ask...I don't want all my friends to think I don't appreciate them! There were many people at that made me feel GREAT, even when my missing link wasn't there...you all know who you are!!! I know one member of my team made me feel good and I love her for all that she did! She may not have had lunch with me everyday, but I knew she was there and very supportive:) !!!! And all my HOOTER friends...you know who you are!!! You ROCK! I love you all and don't want you to think that I don't, it is just that the missing link is like my reminder to laugh! I can't explain it...she is the missing link and you all are that links that make my life complete...without all of you I would be nothing! This includes my family too! Without all the links, it just doesn't work:) I love you all so much and you will never know how much, because I am not good with words...glad you are there for me and I want to be there for you:)
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
The Missing Link
I have been so down and complaining about work since my surgery. I honestly thought it was the surgery, my recovery, and my turmoil over food. Since Monday I have found out how wrong I have been. My problem was our missing team member who was out on maternity leave! I guess I missed her...but could anyone really miss someone that much? YES!
Don't get me wrong, I like all the members of my team (except one) however, none of them have what you could call a great sense of humor. The missing link is a fun loving, happy person!!!! the others are all business and arguing is their favorite past time.
The missing link had her baby the day before my surgery and was gone for 10 weeks. Meetings were no longer fun! No laughing:( I had no one to eat lunch with that would make me smile or even laugh out loud! Surprisingly, my other team member friend started coming back to lunch again too. Not that I think she didn't want to eat with me and talk to me, but I really wasn't fun!!!!
Yes, for those of you who have known me a long time...I have lost my fun loving spirit like I used to be...I was once the person cracking jokes, with the quick wit...I was the missing link at one time. It is so great to have my smile back. I need to return to those roots of my fun loving days. I am glad the missing link is back, life is good again!
My goal is to make people smile this week!
Don't get me wrong, I like all the members of my team (except one) however, none of them have what you could call a great sense of humor. The missing link is a fun loving, happy person!!!! the others are all business and arguing is their favorite past time.
The missing link had her baby the day before my surgery and was gone for 10 weeks. Meetings were no longer fun! No laughing:( I had no one to eat lunch with that would make me smile or even laugh out loud! Surprisingly, my other team member friend started coming back to lunch again too. Not that I think she didn't want to eat with me and talk to me, but I really wasn't fun!!!!
Yes, for those of you who have known me a long time...I have lost my fun loving spirit like I used to be...I was once the person cracking jokes, with the quick wit...I was the missing link at one time. It is so great to have my smile back. I need to return to those roots of my fun loving days. I am glad the missing link is back, life is good again!
My goal is to make people smile this week!
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