Myself

Myself

Saturday, July 30, 2011

I have learned so much about myself in the last year and it is amazing how I have changed! Through my surgery and weight loss I have learned it is alright to lean on friends and family when you need them.

Through this blog I have learned to be honest with myself and others. I learned that you can lie to everyone in the world, but you cannot lie to yourself and when you lie to yourself you feel shame and guilt...

Through the death of a young woman I have learned that I can handle stress on my own and I learned that faith is deeper than knowing that something better exists after death, it is accepting God. Faith is not being afraid to admit you believe in a higher being and admit that the higher being has been there for me when I have needed him. I can admit that he has helped me through many painful situations and has led me to be a better person. I know he led me to teaching, and I am not sure why, but I know he has a plan for me and I have accepted that plan.

I learned through an awful storm that I am a really strong person when things go bad. I don't need to have someone around me all the time, that I can handle situations on my own.

Through my husbands eyes I learned that I am beautiful and worth loving. I posted on my wall on time that "I was hot" when I was dressed for a wedding, and I truely believed, I was beautiful! I have NEVER felt this feeling in my life! Even now when I look at the pictures, I think, WOW I looked really nice. What a great feeling!!!

Through my children I have learned that I am truly loved and I am lucky that I have each one of them in my life...they are amazing!!!

Through the friends I have I have learned to be giving and accepting, and that I will never be alone again.

Most of all I have learned to open my heart and love more deeply, cry only when I need to not because I am upset, but when life really sucks, eat when I am hungry, and that I can handle any situation that is thrown at me, on my own! Food is no longer needed to fill that gap in me when I am stressed, upset, tired, bored, happy, sad, lonely, celebrating, and/or depressed. I have family, friends, and God to fill that need! Love you ALL!!!!

To Miss Taylor: I know you still read my blog so I wanted to say thanks for opening my eyes...you are as amazing in death as you were in life! Can't wait to see you in heaven:) We will walk Gauge and Romulus together!!!

I was on vacation for two weeks and I will admit that the first week I did great with the food, but I did drink wine and the second week I ate more junk food and still continued to drink wine...all of this equals no weight loss...but NO WEIGHT GAIN! Which is amazing for me, Fred said he gained a bunch of weight, so I was happy to stay the same...now back to good eating and not drinking!

I am down 65 pounds, but I still have 75 pounds to go and I know it will be more difficult now. I am not kidding myself and thinking I am just going to lose weight no matter what I do. I know that I need to exercise...can someone open my eyes to exercise? I just HATE it!!! I love golfing, but we don't do it enough, I love swimming, but it is a pain in the butt to go to the gym. I like walking, but not by myself, and yet I don't want to talk when I walk. I like to walk the dogs, it is more work than it is worth sometimes. HELP!

Thanks for reading and thanks for all you have done to help me! I Love each and everyone of you who read my blog...even if you don't follow me:)

1 comment:

  1. im so happy everything is going so well for you. You looked great when i last saw you and seemed so happy. keep it up hope to see you soon

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